And for today's big laugh -- The new method of financial planning:

If you had purchased $1,000 of Lehman Bros. stock one year ago, you would have $49 left. With Wachovia, you would have $16.50 left. With AIG, you would have less than $5 left.

But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the alu minum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg plan.